The 'Solstice' Affair
by Avirra
Summary: The longest night of the year or does it just feel that way when you're sleep deprived? #15 in the sound/dialogue series.


**The 'Solstice' Affair**

"Illya?"

"Uhmm?"

"Are you sleeping with the window next to you open?"

"No."

"Huh – are you sure? I could have sworn I felt a breeze."

"I will be more specific. Yes - the window beside me is open a little way. No, I am currently not sleeping because someone woke me up."

"Ah."

_soft footsteps_

"Did you know that tonight is the longest night of the year?"

_sigh_

"I know that it certainly feels like that way. Napoleon, you are keeping track of the Winter Solstice for what reason?"

"Oh, no reason in particular, chum. Just general interest."

"Napoleon? If I ask you a question, will you answer it truthfully?"

"I probably shouldn't agree without hearing the question first, but I'll take my chances. Ask away."

"Are you assisting the U.N.C.L.E. scientists in experiments?"

"Well, that's certainly not a question I was expecting. And the answer is no. Or at least not that I'm aware of. They can be sneaky."

"Indeed they can."

"Why?"

"I was simply curious if they were perhaps endeavoring to gauge how little sleep an agent could be allotted and still remain lucid."

"Was that a subtle hint that I've interrupted your sleep again?"

"Hint? No. Statement of fact? Yes."

"Just trying to come up with interesting conversation tidbits."

"At 4 am?"

_rustle_

"Napoleon? I realize it is quite dark in here, but am I mistaken in thinking that your gun is out?"

"No, you aren't mistaken. Go back to sleep, tovarich."

"That is not likely to happen."

_rustle_

"What are you doing?"

"I believe you Americans call it getting dressed."

"Yes, I can see you're getting dressed. I was asking why."

"No. You asked 'what'."

_thud_

"Your aim is improving, Napoleon."

"How do you figure that? I missed you."

"Yes, but not by as much as you usually do."

"Don't change the subject. Why are you getting dressed?"

"Technically I am not getting dressed. I am already dressed. I finished while you were getting the question out. Ow!"

"Okay. **Now** my aim is better."

"That is a matter of opinion. I prefer it when you miss. At least when I am the target."

"Quit dodging the question."

"Fine. I am dressed because you are awake and have your weapon out. That means that you either heard a noise that you did not recognize and have not been able to explain to your satisfaction or you have a feeling of unease that you have been unable to find a cause for."

"The latter actually."

"I do not ignore my gut feelings, Napoleon. I will not ignore yours either."

"So what now?"

"We talk and stay awake, I suppose."

. . . . .

"Am I to assume that when I am attempting asleep at this time of day, you can wax poetic on many topics, but when I am as wide awake as you are, you cannot think of anything to talk about?"

"Sums it up pretty well. Ow! What was that for?"

"You know very well what that was for."

_chuckle_

"Yes, I suppose I do."

_hiss_

"Illya? Please tell me you snuck Wellington into your carry-on luggage?"

"No. My cat is at home. And likely in the center of my bed."

"Then I think –"

_soft thud_

"Chert voz'mi..."

_scrape_

_drag_

_gasp_

_click_

"Get in and secure them both. The gas will not keep them down long."

"I don't see Solo, sir. Kuryakin was apparently trying to get out of the window when he collapsed."

"Go search the bathroom. Solo might have collapsed in there. I'll tend to Kuryakin."

_pffft_

_soft thud_

"Still no sign of Solo, sir. Sir?"

_pffft_

_soft thud_

"Handy things, these sleep darts. You guys need to find your own blonde Russians. This one's mine."

"A trifle possessive, are we?"

"Ah, good to hear that you're awake again. Can you move yet?"

"I am still working on that. I am glad to see the fresh air revived you."

"You should have come outside with me."

"That had been the intention. I think you perhaps put on an extra pound or two during Thanksgiving. Hefting you through the window took more effort than usual."

"Probably just felt like it from the gas you'd already breathed it."

"If you say so."

"Russian."

"American. Now that that is out of the way, what shall we do with our friends here?"

"Almost Christmas. We'll gift-wrap them and get out of here before their backup comes looking for them."

"We do not have anything festive to tie them with, I fear."

"Hey, not a problem, partner mine. After all, it's the thought that counts."


End file.
